Kosovo: KOSOVO@YUROPE.COM - SMEH

Nik Stankovic (nik@webcash.com)
Sat, 24 Apr 1999 15:58:26 -0700


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K O S O V O mejling lista
Kosovo@yurope.com je privatan forum za razgovor u vezi sa udarom
NATO pakta na SRJ. Lista sluzi kao dopuna vestima, sa temama
vazanim za zivot i prezivljavanje civilnog stanovnistva SRJ.
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Muz radio ceo zivot u fabrici Sloboda u Cacku (koja proizvodi sporete,
usisivace i sl.) Zena mu kaze jednog dana :toliko radis tamo a nemamo
usisivac.

Mogao bi da donosis deo po deo pa da ga sklopimo kod kuce. I muz to
uradi. Kad su sklopili a ono kalasnjikov...

Date: Sat, 24 Apr 1999 20:20:54 -0400
From: ex Singidunum <beograd@brazil.tcimet.net>

From: Logan Susnick

(a satire from The Rotten Apple, 4/14/99)

CNN Decides Not To Renew Serbia's Contract

Balkan Conflict to End Next Week After Dismal Ratings

ATLANTA - After several weeks of bombing and ethnic cleansing, CNN has
decided to end the war in the Balkans between Serbia and NATO allies.
The Atlanta based news network will use an escape clause with Serbia
to
release the country from its contract. "We have no hard feelings
towards
Serbia and President Milosevic," said CNN spokesperson, William
Henderson.. "We just feel that the war was not up to our expectations
and have decided to part ways."

The announcement for Serbia comes as a major setback for the
self-proclaimed successor to Iraq, which will in all likelihood be
branded a failure in the entertainment industry. "Serbia will have a
hard time rebounding from this one," stated Jeffrey Phillips of
Entertainment Weekly Magazine. "If they could have pulled this one off
as a success, they could have written their own future. After such a
great performance in the Bosnian War, this comes as a big
disappointment. It was their chance to play alongside some major
figures
like United States, Britain, and even France. Now they'll be lucky if
they can get supporting roles in indie wars."

CNN's unhappiness apparently stemmed from a lukewarm viewer
interest that led to poor ratings. CNN put in an "escape clause" in
their contract with Serbia in case they didn't live up to projections.
"We out that clause in all our contracts with smaller, less well known
nations," henderson explained. "It is a safety net for situations like
this. I think Serbia, and the Balkans as a whole, have a bright
future,
but at this time we aren't confident that they can perform the
Nielsens
like, say, a Saddam Hussein and Iraq did."

The focus of the break has centered on Serbian president
Slobodan
Milosevic, who was the focus of a blockbuster deal with CNN in
February.
Milosevic had been pegged a star in the making, which made CNN
executives jump at the chance to sing him before rivals ABC, CBS and
NBC
got him.

"Milosevic had all the qualities of a real draw for anyone who
landed him," said Martin Hutson from the magazine Variety. "We really
thought he would bring big ratings to CNN, but apparently the viewing
public didn't accept him as a real threat and didn't tune in like
everyone thought they would. There is always that intangible that you
can never count on with the ratings. Now, say, if the rumored deal
between Zhironovsky and CNN would have went through last year, signing
him to attempt a coup in Russia, then we might not even be talking
about
Milosevic right now. It's a funny business."

Milosevic could not be reached for comment but sources close to
him say that he is "disappointed that CNN lost faith in him." He is
rumored to be vacationing and gathering himself at the moment.

"I think he is quite upset," said hutson. "This was supposed to
be his big break and now its all gone. He's damaged goods now and he
took down Serbia with him. I would expect him to lay low for a while
and
wait for a good role to come his way. He isn't a very patient man, but
in this business you have to be patient sometimes."

PROSIRITE LISTU U JUGOSLAVIJI I SVETU.
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