> WITH SEX ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE > This paper has been sent to you for good luck. The original has > been worn out from having passed through the hands of so many people. > It had travelled around the world 72 times [Dear Reader: please > help keep this count current. If this letter falls into your hands > after just completing one more circuit of the world, please add one > to the count.] > > The luck has now been sent to you. You will experience great sex > within four days of receiving this letter, provided you send it on! > Since the copy must tour the world, you must make twenty copies and > send them to others. This is no joke. Send no money. Send copies > to people who need to get laid within 96 hours. > > After he passed this letter on, a Montana Spinach ControlOfficer got > his penis stuck in a cow-milking machine and had the longest series > of ograsms of his life. John Elliot tried to pick up a prositute, > but, because he broke the chain, was picked up by the police > instead. When they searched his home, they found magazines of little > boys which they showed to his neighbours. In a suburb of Paris, Don > Loray's trousers were ripped by an unsatisfied erection, 51 days > after failing to circulate the letter. However, before this happened, > a condom machine gave him three condoms for the price of one. (was > this the consolation prize?) > > Do note the following: Hebert Pudstrom received the chain in 1953. > He asked his secretary to make twenty copies and send them out. A > few days later he encountered her in a red-light district making > more than he had every paid her at work. General George Patton, > who sent the letter on, saw what he thought was a quarter in the > street. When he bent down to pick it up, a beautiful woman in a > miniskirt walked by, and he got a great view. His aide, Colonel > Roger Bumswiver, who did not pass on the letter, tried to pick up > a similar object but was fucked up the ass by a desperate gay when > he bent over. Heywood Daddit, an unemployed chicken choker, > received the letter and forgot that it had to leave his hands within > 96 hours. His wife then went bowling with his best friend and never > returned. Later, after finding the letter again, he mailed twenty > copies. A few days later he got a wife and discovered that his old > wife, who he thought was wonderful, had made love to him like a dead > salmon for all these years! Alan Fairchild received the letter and, > not believing, threw the letter away. Nine days later he spilled hot > coffee in his crotch. > > In 1987 the letter received by a young woman in Texas was faded and > barely readable, so she did not realize that this paragraph applied > to her. She promised herself she would retype the letter and send > it on, but she put it aside to do later. She was plagued with > problems including herpes and other venereal diseases she contracted > in her futile attempts to find Mr. Right in a singles bar. The > letter did not leave her hands in 96 hours. She finally typed the > letter and found a man with a 10-inch penis. > > You must distribute at least twenty copies within 96 hours of > receiving this letter. Those who do will find their love lives more > fulfilling. Those who do not will be doomed to one-night stands > with mechanical devices.