How to kill an eel...

Man Mountain (
Wed, 31 Jan 1996 13:08:57 +0000

How to Kill an Eel

Little Tommy was 7 years old and like other boys his age, was rather curious.

He had heard a lot about courting and wondered what it was like, how it was
done. He took his questions to his mother who became flustered, so instead of
explaining it to him, she told him to hide behind the curtains and watch his
sister and boyfriend. He did this and the following morning, explained to his
mother what he had seen.

Sis and her boyfriend turned off the lights and then sat down. He then started
hugging and kissing her. Sis must have been getting sick as her face went
funny, her boyfriend knew this because he put his hand up her blouse to feel
her heart, but it took him a long time to find it. I guess he was getting sick
too because they both started panting and getting out of breath. I think his
other handmust have been getting cold because he put it up her skirt, about
this time Sis got worse and started to moan and grown and moved to the end of
the couch and she was getting really hot.

Finally I found out what was really making them sick - a big eel had got in his
pants. It just jumped out of his pants and it stood there about 10 inches long,
HONEST!!! Anyway he just grabbed it to stop it escaping.

When Sis saw this she started to call God and stuff like that, she said it was
the biggest one she had ever seen. I should tell her about the ones down the
lake. Sis got brave and tried to kill it by biting off its head.

All of a sudden she made a noise and let go. I guess it bit her back. She then
grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his
pocket and pulled it over his head to stop it biting.

She laid back and opened her legs so she could get a scissor hold on it and he
helped by laying on top of it. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started
moaning and squeeling and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they
were trying to squash it between them. After a while they both quit moving and
and let out a big sigh, her boyfriend got up and sure enough they had killed
the eel. I knew it was dead because it was hanging there limp. Sis and her
boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but then they went back to their
courting. Anyway, she started kissing him back again and bugger me, the bloody
eel wan't dead, it just jumped back up and started fighting again.

I guess eels are like cats, they have nine lives or something. This time Sis
got up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on its head.

After they had struggled for about three quarters of an hour they finally
killed it. I knew this because Sis's boyfriend skinned it and flushed it down
the toilet.

See ya , love Dusch; "when you say that, smile!"
"G.G.R. is the way forward"

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