Dmano Baggio!!! (
Mon, 19 Feb 1996 10:15:52 +0000

The Nervous Priest

The new priest was so nervous at his first mass, he could hardly speak.
Before his second appearance in the pulpit, he asked the Monsignor how he
could relax. The Monsignor said, "Next Sunday, it may help if you put some
vodka in the water pitcher. After a few sips everything should go
The next Sunday the new priest put the suggestion into practice and was
able to talk up a storm. He felt great! However, upon returning to the
rectory he found a note from the Monsignor:

Dear Father,

Next time sip rather than gulp.
There are 10 commandments, not 12.
There are 12 disciples, not 10.
We do not refer to the Cross as the "Big T".
The recommended grace before meals is not "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the
grub. Yeah God!"
We do not refer our Savior, Jesus Christ and his Apostles as
"J.C. and the Boys".
David slew Goliath, he did not "kick the shit out of him".
The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost are never referred to as "Big Daddy,
Junior, and the Spook."
It is always the Virgin Mary, never "Mary with the Cherry".
Last, but not least, next Wednesday there will be a Taffy-Pulling contest at
St. Peter's, not a Peter-Pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

"That's not my opinion.... that's just what I think!"

Ciao for now, love Dusch;
"when you say that, smile!"
'To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography
and the dancers hit each other.'
"G.G.R. is the way forward"

+ ,
+ '

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