YUQwest: Witz: She was so blonde. . .

Milan Potkonjak (milan@canada.com)
Sun, 21 Feb 1999 22:31:51 -0800

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- she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
- she thought a quarterback was a refund
- she tripped over a cordless phone
- she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind
- she got stabbed in a shoot-out
- she told someone to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DONT WALK"
- they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade
- she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
- at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here", she put
- if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless
- when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved
Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for hours
they finally saw a sign that said "Disneyland left" so they turned around
and went home.
A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches each part of her body
with her finger she says, "Doctor it hurts here, it hurts here, it hurts
here, it hurts here......." going on pointing to every part of her body.
Finally, the doctor stops her, and asks, "Were you ever a Blonde?"
"Yes, I was." she replies. "Why do you ask?"
The doctor answers, "because your finger is broken!"
Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their
car at a drive-in movie theater? They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when the brunette said,
"Oh, look at the dead bird." The Blonde looked skyward and said
"Where, where?"
A brunette is standing on some train tracks, jumping from rail to rail,
saying "21, 21, 21." A Blonde walks up, sees her and decides to join her.
She also starts jumping from rail to rail, saying "21,21,21".
Suddenly, the brunette hears a train whistle, and she jumps off the tracks
just as the Blonde is splattered all over the place. The brunette goes Back
to jumping from rail to rail, counting, "22, 22, 22."
Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes at a four way stop.
Q: Why do Blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: What do smart Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but you never see them.
Q: What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
A: Oh look, daddy ... doughnut seeds.
Q: How did the Blonde die ice fishing?
A: She got run over by the Zamboni.
Q. Why did the Blonde stare at a can of frozen orange juice?
A. Because it said concentrate.
Q. Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A. They think their picture is being taken.
Q. Why can't Blondes dial 911?
A. They cannot find the eleven on the phone!
Q. What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you?
A. Run! She's got a grenade in her mouth!
Q. How can you tell if a Blonde has been using your computer?
A. There is whiteout all over the monitor screen.
Q. How do you get a Blonde on the roof?
A. Tell her the drinks are on the house.
Q. Why shouldn't Blondes have coffee breaks?
A. It takes too long to retrain them.
Q. How do you drown a Blonde?
A. Put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
Q. Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to
regular one?
A. You have to hollow out the head.
Q. How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?
A. Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Q. Why don't Blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A. Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
Q. Why won't they hire Blondes as pharmacists?
A. They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriter.

K O Ho A K
Who is General Failure? Why is he reading my
hard disk???
* milan_p@ThePentagon.com *